NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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