I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
