when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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