I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
