my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
