Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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