so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
