No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
