either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
