Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
