Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
