I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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