Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
