Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
