try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize