No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
