Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
