Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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