just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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