I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
