I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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