I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
