i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
