Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize