people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
