What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
