Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
