Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
