Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
