Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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