I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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