How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
