9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
