U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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