Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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