Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
