S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
