I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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