Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
