I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
