saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
