Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
