some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
