i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she told me i tasted like america
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
