If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
