I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize