can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
