I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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