look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
