if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
