Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
