you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
