I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
