Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize