I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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