i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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