I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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