you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
