Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
