At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
