Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
