Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
