It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
