Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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