I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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