Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
